Not About Love

"Destiny and IHOP"

2008-01-08T14:44:00.000-08:00

Some three thousand, six hundred and fifty days
You have remained in a corner of my mind
Day one found me an akward teenager
And you, a mystery man lighting up his Camel
And when you offered me a cigarette
I lit you up, took you in-and let you fill my spaces
I won't forget the freedom of being sixteen
Flying down backstreets in your turqouise truck
I can only hope that day three thousand six hundred and fifty one
Will offer us the same freedom we knew when we met

SP

"Too Late"

2007-12-30T07:02:00.000-08:00

You feed me all the best lines
If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times
It won't happen again, and I love you
Did you love me when I hit the ground
Will you love me when I'm not around
I do love you, but it won't happen again
I'll think of you when I'm letting him inside
Hope you'll find someone to keep you warm at night
Or maybe you're better off on your own
Because even when I was with you, I'd never been more alone
Know that I've cried my last tears for you
If you see me out, please walk on by
You've hurt me for the last time

SP

"I Missed Christmas?!"

2007-12-26T15:32:00.000-08:00

Only one day sober
But still
I feel alive today
I can't say it is a good feeling
But still
It is mine to feel
And I will
I'll wake tomorrow
Face the sun
With only two days sober
But still

SP

"Sticks and Stones"

2007-12-23T09:19:00.000-08:00

What do you want from me?
It's never enough to get better
You just wait for the sickness
Did you know it is you that is making me sick?
You and your snide little remarks
You think I am not in my right mind
But your words hurt never the less
I would rather you hit me in the face one good time
Then keep on putting me down
I am already as low as I've ever been
What do you want from me?

SP

"Happy Christmas"

2007-12-17T17:10:00.000-08:00

If I had all the money in the world
I'd still write you a line
'Cause all the money in the world
Could never quite describe
A daughter's love for her mother
And a mother like mine
Would rather have a line from her girl
Than all the money in the world
And so Happy Christmas Mom
I want you to know
That my love for you is endless
If I had a thousand wishes
I'd give them all to you

Love,

SP

"Listerine"

2007-12-16T14:35:00.000-08:00

I hope you'll think of me in the morning
When you are rinsing the sin from your dirty mouth
I hope you'll feel the burn of loss
Swishing around in the mouth, that I will never kiss again
I hope you know you have spit me out for the last time

SP

"7 Days"

2007-12-03T14:45:00.000-08:00

It worries me that I don't have words for you
That we are forcing something that isn't there
But in the meantime, go ahead baby-pull my hair
Tell me you love me, after all this time (ha)
I guess I could write about your eyes
But I can't find the lines to describe
What is missing for you in mine
Maybe someday I'll make you weak
Afterall it has only been a week
But you say we have accomplished more in our time
Than some people have in their entire lives
I guess this is passion at it's best
We love to hate eachother
You say nobody bothers you like I do
And I take that as a compliment
A gift that was well meant

SP

"Fold"

2007-11-25T08:10:00.000-08:00

The best I could have ever hoped for
Would have been for you to keep me in suspense
But you slapped me with your cold truth again and again
Leaving a sting with no room for negotiation
You live by a set of rules, my heart will never follow
So goodbye is my consequence
You must think I am ridiculous
All these months of cat and mouse
You were just an itch I couldn't scratch
A pair of eyes, I could never catch
So here I am-throwing the flag
'Cos I can't play anymore

SP

"I Know"

2007-11-24T12:07:00.001-08:00

I hear you don't give out second chances*
Careful baby, 'cos I know you believe
What goes around comes around
So, when you're down on your knees
Begging her to stay
And she tells you it's too late
I hope you'll think of me
Up off my knees, finally free
From the sick spell you had on me

SP

*I never even had a chance to begin with, I hope you know, I know.

"You Say You Understand"

2007-11-24T11:40:00.000-08:00

I made a mountain of love
Out of a molehill of drugs
That I grew too weary to climb
Crying over milk that's spilled
Falling in love, falling behind
Now it's water under the bridge
But I'm learning to swim again
With all the innocence of a child

SP

"Then And There"

2007-11-19T16:46:00.000-08:00

I can't write you a love poem
Simply, because I don't love you now
But let it be said-
I hope to find you in another life
Your dark eyes searching for mine
And there, we will find oneanother
And then, I will love you wildly
As I had always meant to while we were here

SP

"Ignorance Is Bliss"

2007-11-19T16:11:00.000-08:00

I am listening to you from the bedroom
You must be in the kitchen
I hear you slosh my spirit around in that jug
Satiated when it slides down your dry throat
Unaware you may have consumed the last of it

SP

"It's All I Can Do"

2007-11-19T15:54:00.001-08:00

It's all I can do to slide past you in our tiny hall
Hoping you won't notice my sturdy hip brush your fragile thigh
It's all I can do to retreat to a room I know you won't bother
How many hours can I spend in the flourecent light with that girl in the mirror

SP

"Never Again"

2007-11-17T16:05:00.000-08:00

You stopped in Memphis, on your way to being free
You bought a chair in which to read
Told your mother of your intention to paint
Shades of purple that never came
You hung a cross over your bed
And slipped a wooden one over your head
I watched your eyes as you took it off
And felt your warmth at such a cost
As I arched my back- I couldn't help but see
The weight of sin falling down on me
In the back of my mind, I can still hear Elvis play
Killing me softly, for old time's sake
I don't want you to be a lonely man
But you swear to me never again
Now I know there ain't nothin' like a song
But summertime has passed and gone

SP

"No Waiting"

2007-11-15T13:19:00.000-08:00

So many in line
But I dismiss them all
For the one who wouldn't want my heart
If it were free of charge
The King of "NO"
He'll never know
How badly I wanted that dead end road

SP

"Wrong Turn"

2007-11-15T12:52:00.000-08:00

You said we were on a dead end road
But honey, I want you to know
I would have been content to sit
And let the world get on with it

But you'll have no part in the madness
So, it's you that I'm gonna miss
When I hit the road tonight
I'll keep you in my sight

Maybe time will break you down
You'll be alone thumb stuck out
I'll stop and sit
And tell you to get on with it

SP

"The Straw"

2007-11-12T17:55:00.000-08:00

You say:
This is why I didn't want to hang out with you
You were lucky to get one chance with me, nevermind a second
I only need myself right now
That makes me not trust you
You got crazy and mean
I don't want to hang out
I'm not much of a hugging person
I'm not a food sharer
I don't accept gifts
We will never be together in a romantic way
Am I interested in being cock teased? No.

All my friends say:
You are ugly, and bipolar

I think:
You are beautiful and deep
Silly me

"Chance Meeting"

2007-11-08T13:44:00.000-08:00

Going about my business today
Yours was the last face I'd expected
But there you were in my way
Looking at me/through me

We shared a laugh, some cheap humor
Neither of us could afford more

Studying your crooked nose, your twisted mouth

Scars I'd never noticed
You should not have cut your hair
I studied the shape of your chest

I took a snapshot in my mind
And filed you away, where you'll stay
I won't soon mistake proximity for serendipity
(You only live a mile away)

"Fools Gold"

2007-11-05T09:59:00.000-08:00

You are nothing more than a mindless habit
Addictive and detrimental to my health
Filling me with your sticky black love
You make it hard for me to breathe
But I continue to let you in time and again

SP

"Untitled"

2007-11-04T17:17:00.000-08:00

We said goodbye, before hello
Simple, cliche rock and roll
But I'm tired of singing the same old song
Where the words are right, but the melody's wrong
You played me like a violin
And I danced for you again and again
But I'm dizzy, spinning to your beat
I'm ready for a new sound, ready to admit defeat

SP

"Lyrical Montage"

2007-11-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

This is for me, not you.

-I laugh at all your jokes, but you look bored. I've been a lot of things-but never yours. -Tracy Chapman

-When I looked for you, I almost passed you by, you were so cool and calm I thought my friends had lied. I thought so much reserve must make you wild inside, it was there and then that I knew-had to get me some of what you got. -TC

-Difficult not to feel a little bit disappointed, and passed over.- APC

-I fell too fast, I feel too much, I thought that you might have some advice to give, on how to be insensitive. -Jann Arden

-And now I see, all the shit that isn't me, I'm too relieved to be mad, relieved and sad. I misplaced my mind, thought it was lost, and now I find-you were just very, very unkind. -Minnie Driver

-Oh, what a cold and common old way to go. When I was feeding on the need for you to know me, devastated at the rate you fell below me, what wasted unconditional love, on somebody who doesn't believe in the stuff, oh well. -Fiona Apple

-You think you are complicated, a deep mystery to all. Well it's taken me awhile to see, you're not so special- all energy no meaning, with a lot of words. So paper thin, not one real feeling could knock you down....So, see you when you're 40, lost and all alone, being comforted by strangers you'll never need to know, not sad because you lost me, sad because you thought it was cool to be sad- You think misery will make you stand apart from the crowd. If you'dve walked past me today- I wouldnt've picked you out. -Dido

-We said goodbye before hello. -Michael Penn

-She made up some excuse to see you, said you didn't feel a thing, tired of all the dramas maybe? -Aimee Mann

-God, who would wanna be such an asshole? Who would wanna be such a control freak?-Modest Mouse

"Afterthought"

2007-11-04T13:28:00.000-08:00

I always chose the perfect words
While yours were off the cuff
Speaking volumes without intention
It was always just enough

You were half-assed and cold
But, I read between the lines
Searching out inspiration
For my silly little rhymes

SP

"A lie"

2007-11-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

It's so confusing, you see
The way we're makin' sense
To everyone but me

White picket fences
And expensive dishes
Keep me under lock and key

Walk in closets
And sleek chrome faucets
Will never be enough for me

So, I'll be in the garden tub
Candles lit, remembering love
And the way it used to be

SP

"Fast"

2007-11-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

"See you on the flipside"
Was the last line you fed to me
Hungry for your return- I ate it
Sweet cream, from your dirty hands
You filled me with a sugary hope
That left my heart tired and overweight
I think a fast is in order

SP

"Sure To Fall"

2007-11-02T13:16:00.000-07:00

You are the well for wishes I made in vain
My "pretty little hate machine"
What a fantastic notion I entertained
Walking the tightrope of your frayed pipe dream

SP

"Untitled"

2007-11-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

So simple, at first light
The idea of you-
But as the day grows
So do my twisted/tangled thoughts
A relentless, creeping vine, blooming with petals of uncertainty
Decorated with thorns of doubt
You wrap yourself around me so sweetly
And when the self-inflicted ache begins to wither
I'll be out in search of water

SP

"A Package"

2007-11-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

You arrived early this morning
On the doorstep of my heart
I rushed out, eager as three on Christmas Day
Pulled you close-and tore away (your) flawless wrapping
Only to find your filthy truth-in a custom suit
So, I smiled my best smile- and said "Thank you!"

SP

"Old Woman"

2007-11-02T12:09:00.001-07:00

Today, as I was leaving the bookstore
I came upon an old woman-hair whipped up like cotton candy
Eyes, milk-washed blue, beaming with history
I gazed at her flat, dusty shoes- wondering where they had taken her over her years
She clenched her belongings as if they were the last, and most precious days of her life,
And shuffled into the place I could no longer stay
I know I will never see her again

SP